· Charges of abuse against Randy Orton for spitting on a 15-year-old boy in Saugus, MA have been dropped. The official reason has to do with "lack of probable cause." Orton, now a father & an incredibly orange man, has calmed down in recent years, due to the WWE cracking down on substance abuse. Or in Orton's case, abusing others with bodily substances. Rochelle Loewen could not be reached for comment...because nobody knows who she is.

· Puerto Rican wrestling legend & infinity-time World Wrestling Council titleholder, Carlos Colon, may be under consideration for this year’s WWE Hall Of Fame. Carlito's inclusion as a NXT mentor coupled with Primo's recent interaction with Bret Hart on RAW indicates that the WWE might be headed in this direction. Possible inductors are being considered for Colon including the president of Gillette razors, Abdullah the Butcher’s left boob, & Invader 1's alibi.

· The E has gone out and bought the video library of now-defunct Ultimate Pro Wrestling based out of California. UPW was a breeding ground for WWE stars such as The Miz, Melina, and of course, John Cena, in addition to TNA stars Frankie Kazarian, "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels, & "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe. The footage will most likely be used for future WWE-produced documentaries, including Little Johnny Revealed: The Heidenreich Saga & the rumored TNA snuff film Cross The Unemployment Line: The Fall & Death of TNA.

· Speaking of Ultimate Pro Wrestling, former UPW employee Joe Francosi was hired by the E to be a part of their Creative Team. Francosi pitched the William Shatner WWE Theme Songs bit a few weeks back, mirroring Shatner's eclectic singing style. Francosi's next idea involves rehiring Candice Michelle for the March 15th RAW/"Stone Cold" Steve Austin show, where she will take a Stunner as a tribute Austin's alleged abuse of softcore porn stars. Francosi will be future endeavored and appear on The Mayhem this summer.

· Former WWE Diva Maria Kanellis's debut album Sevin Sins is scheduled to be released in mid-April on iTunes, with the single "Fantasy" available around WrestleMania XXVI. If you're looking for a preview, buy a Paramore record. Other rumored track titles include "Unbreakable," "Kiss Kiss," "My Nips Looked Disappointing In Playboy," as well as a cover of the Sex Pistols "Pretty Vacant."

· Cryme Tyme's Shad Gaspard recently auditioned for the lead villain role of the Conan the Barbarian remake. Had Gaspard been cast, the script would have been rewritten to feature Shad's character forfeiting his deadly duel to Conan in fear that he will lose, opting instead to hide in his cave & defecate in his loincloth.

· It is likely that CM Punk's flunky, Serena, will remain bald through WrestleMania XXVI. At last, the six-year anniversary of Molly Holly's head shaving will finally get its due!

· Word from the E mill is that Vince's inspiration for NXT came from watching a few episodes of Ultimate Fighter & Jersey Shore. Upon watching Jersey Shore, Vince immediately resigned Tom Brandi and had him punch out a girl at a bar to start living the gimmick.

· Vince, in trying to keep up with the times, signed up for a Netflix account. He plans to watch Pirates of the Caribbean this week, as he has been looking to give Paul Burchill something to do (prior to being future endeavored himself).

· Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer) shared recently that he did voiceover work for a new WWE video game. Unfortunately, the sessions were scrapped, due to Pringle's voice not carrying through the concrete prison that The Undertaker put him in back in 2004.

· WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre has earned himself the backstage moniker "Avatar," due to his submissive role in his relationship with former ECW General Manager Tiffany. It is still not clear who controls the robot that is Tiffany. In related movie news, Avatar director James Cameron has expressed interest in casting the uncharismatic duo as Terminator robots in his upcoming franchise reboot, Terminator: He's Just Not that Into You to Destroy the World.

·Cliff Compton, aka Domino of Deuce 'n Domino fame, has resurfaced in Florida Championship Wrestling. He's going by his real name while still retaining the greaser gimmick...only this time CM Punk will be supplying the grease.

· Word is that the male counterpart of Orlando Jordan's bisexual gimmick in TNA is the same individual whose unauthorized presence led to Jordan's firing from the WWE back in 2006. It also didn't help matters that he asked Rene Dupree to join him & Jordan in an "Eiffel Tower."

· TNA President Dixie Carter has been announced to be participating in a live shoot interview segment as a part of the forthcoming Legends Of The Ring X convention, taking place in New Jersey this May. Carter will field questions from fans in the audience, fans via e-mails, in addition to fans covered in plastic explosives that drove in from Stamford, CT.

· And finally, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair was involved in a domestic dispute with his wife this past Sunday night. Flair suffered a slew of minor injuries sustained by "fists, feet, & teeth." So basically, it was every George Steele match ever.